Haven
by Ryu Reikai-Akuma
Summary: Turned into one of the monsters that killed his family, Tezuka lost his purpose in life. Then he met Fuji Syuusuke, his new master, his lover. Fantasy!AU, TeFu, rated for violence and adult situations.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: As requested by isumi_ilde, this fic is inspired by a very epic song, Garden of Everything. I tried to write for this song about 5 times, none of them worked. This plot bunny visited me just after Halloween (my muse's timing sucks) and I actually manage to write until the end. Now the problem is it's too damn long T_T It's 31 pages long and as much as I hate to separate the fic into several parts, I don't want to torture your poor souls and eyes. So here it is, part 1 of Haven, just for you, Isu. Also thanks to anyajulia for the brainstorming session last night. My titling ability sucks.

Disclaimer: Any recognizable character from PoT belongs to Konomi.

**Haven**

Tezuka shook as he desperately curled his body into a fetal position and covered his head with his arms to prevent blows to any internal organs. His body was aching all over as bruises formed and wounds bled continuously. So far he had been spared his life but he wasn't sure how much longer his luck would hold out. Tezuka began to feel lightheaded, the pain almost making him lose consciousness. His instinct to fight for his own life preservation rose every now and then but he knew he must not fight. To fight back meant asking for death and despite having lost everything he held dear, Tezuka didn't want to give up on his life though he couldn't tell how long the will to live will last.

A particularly hard blow to his stomach made him cough up blood. The people above him laughed at his weakness, mocking him. Tezuka barely heard them, his ears had rung since the first hit on his head. Now his vision began to blur until he saw nothing but shadows of his attackers. His body shook with the strain of protecting himself. Another kick landed, then another, then another, until he lost count of them. Tezuka knew he was fast approaching his limit. Soon he'd lose consciousness. He didn't know whether he's going to wake up again or not.

Was this how he's going to die? Should he fight back or should he surrender? Was there any point in fighting back? Was there any point in surrender? These thoughts fleeted across Tezuka's mind as pain began to numb his consciousness. There was no time to think of the answers. His time was quickly running out. Another kick landed on his stomach, more blood left his body, his broken bones threaten to puncture important organs. He was going to die.

"What's going on?"

All of a sudden the attacks stopped. The attackers moved to the side quietly, revealing Tezuka's abused body on the ground. Someone pulled him up roughly when he failed to move a limb. Tezuka knelt on the pool of his own blood, struggling to remain conscious. He didn't know what was happening –the shadow in the wood and his injury prevented him from seeing the newcomer. He could tell from the sudden silence that this was a respected or even feared person. It occurred to him that this was their leader, the person whose decisions could determine Tezuka's fate. What did he have to say about Tezuka's life? Would he be killed or would he be saved?

"We found him trespassing into our territory, Sir." Someone explained, fear lacing his gruff voice.

"Does he belong to any pack?" The owner of the soft voice came closer to Tezuka until he could see his leather shoes a few feet away from him. Tezuka's previous attackers shifted uncomfortably, as if unable to decide whether to stay or to run for their lives. He couldn't tell why, his mind and body were too numb to feel anything but pain and yearning for oblivion.

"No, Sir." Another person answered.

"A stray, huh?" As the leader approached him Tezuka's heightened olfactory caught the fresh, calming scent of the wood combined with the scent of thick, fresh blood of his prey, telling Tezuka that this person was indeed dangerous. He kept his posture submissive, not wanting to raise anger from the man he knew could kill him without exerting any effort.

Tezuka bowed his head low, not daring to look past the man's feet. This position caused him to almost fall over. His body was hurting everywhere; the bleeding hadn't stopped and broken bones tore his body from the inside. He knew that he couldn't stay like this for much longer even if he tried.

A soft hand grasped his chin and gently urged him to look at the dangerous werewolf leader. Through his impaired vision, he could make out a smiling face and curious sky-blue eyes. Snow-white skin glowed under moonlight that was filtered by the tall trees. Tezuka gasped at the sight of the angel of death. Instead of fear, he felt longing and desire. He found that he didn't mind dying by this person's hands. That would be an honor, that would be the height of his aimless journey, that would be the end of his life.

Tezuka opened his mouth to beg for his life or perhaps his death. But before he cold utter a word, darkness enveloped his mind. And he fell into waiting arms.

* * *

The first thing Tezuka was aware of was the warmth. It made him sleepy as he hadn't experienced such comfort for a while. The sheet beneath him was silky to his touch. The blanket on his body trapped the heat for him perfectly. He grunted softly in satisfaction, ready to sleep a little more.

It wasn't until his ears registered the soft noises of pages being turned and the aroma of an unidentified person infiltrated his senses that Tezuka sat up in alert, his ribs protesting at the sudden movement. He blinked his eyes as he tried to adjust to the sudden brightness in the room. There were three doors in the room (presumably at least one of them would lead him out of the room) all of them closed. Next to the four-poster bed he was in were many windows which were left open to let fresh air in. He could smell the scent of fresh vegetation from outside, his hearing caught the distant footsteps of other inhabitants of the house. The open windows tempted him to leave but he couldn't. Not with someone keeping watch on him like this.

The young man was sitting on a chair next to a window. He was reading a book, seemingly unconcerned by Tezuka's wake. If he hadn't memorized the face already, the confidence and grace would tell him who the young man was. The pack leader looked like he was in his early twenties, just around Tezuka's own age. The soft breeze played with his soft brown hair, caressed his pale skin as he read. His eyes were focused on the pages of the thick book he was holding and a small smile was splayed on his lips as he lost himself in the wordy maze. Sunlight made his figure glowed with a warm, friendly light. Yet the scent of human blood drifting from the stranger alerted him of the danger of crossing the young man's path. The strange contradiction seemed to only increase the appeal of the young man, drawing Tezuka in, trapping him in a web of desire.

"How are you feeling?"

The question roused Tezuka out of his thoughts. He reached to the nightstand instinctively but couldn't find his glasses. He didn't need it either as his vision had improved into perfection since a few days ago. It was only by force of habit that he reached for his glasses during moments of nervousness. He sat up tensely, trying not to clutch at the silk sheets in apprehension.

"I'm well, thank you." He wondered if he should call him 'Sir' as his attackers had. He decided not to do so since he wasn't a member of the young man's pack, though he did shift his gaze down from the smiling face to show respect.

"You must forgive my men. They were easily agitated by the littlest sign of infiltration. There have been a lot of invasions to our territory lately."

"I understand." No, he didn't. He only had mild grasp of how a pack of werewolves worked and it didn't explain why a leader, an alpha would apologize for the natural behaviors of his betas and omegas. It did explain, however, the origin of the blood Tezuka had smelt all over him. He lowered his eyes even further as to not be thought offensive.

The tapping noises made when the young man approached wracked Tezuka's nerves though he refused to let it show. A soft hand caressed his dressed wounds softly, making Tezuka aware of his bandaged state. His torso and arms were bandaged tightly, the mild scent of flesh mixing with medication told him that he wasn't fully healed. But first of all, why would the leader care enough to call medics for him?

"The doctor said you will recover fully soon."

"Thank you."

The young man made a humming noise in answer before pulling his hand away. Tezuka felt strangely bereft, his skin tingled where had been brushed by the gentle hand. He didn't have the right to ask for more, though. He didn't even have the right to beg for his life. So he stayed very still, wishing for the best outcome.

"My people said you were trespassing into our territory." The young leader began conversationally though Tezuka could sense seriousness behind the inquiry. He wondered why he wasn't subjected to painful interrogation instead. A person of this position and power surely didn't need to bother with a stray such as him. He could've sent someone to question him or torture him for answer but instead Tezuka was given medical treatment and taken to a nice room where no one but the leader was present to make sure he didn't escape. Why did the leader treat him so well?

"Yes." Tezuka confirmed. "I didn't realize it until it was too late and they caught me."

"It's understandable. You're only newly changed. You wouldn't be able to sense our markings." The touch returned to his arm where a bite wound was healing. It throbbed under the leader's touch and Tezuka swallowed thickly as the memory of the night he was turned into a monster returned. "How did it happen?"

"My family was attacked by a small pack of wolves. My father and grandfather… told me to run with my mother. Neither of them made it."

Tezuka was allowed a moment of silence to regain control over his emotion. He had wanted to stay with his father and grandfather to ward of the wolves but he couldn't leave his mother alone either. Either way, he was losing. The wolves were too strong, too quick. They chased him and his mother and caught her as she was slower and weaker. It was only by luck that Tezuka managed to escape with several non-lethal wounds.

But was he really lucky? He had nowhere to go, no one would take him in now that he was one of the monsters that had killed his parents. He had wandered aimlessly for days before he was captured and beaten. That's why he had simply resigned himself to his captors; he didn't know what to do with himself anymore. Should he just die and follow his family? What was the point of living as a monster? He had no answer to these questions. There was no one to guide him, teach him. For the first time in his life, Tezuka was truly alone and he was quickly lost in the road of life.

"Death is an escape but not a solution." The young man said as if able to read Tezuka's thought. Perhaps he could, alpha leaders were legendary for their psychic abilities. "I can't tell you whether a life as human is better than a life as a werewolf but I can tell you this: your family had given their lives in order to safe yours. Don't let their sacrifices go to waste." He said softly but with power and wisdom not befitting his age. He let Tezuka absorbed his words for a while before tilting Tezuka's head to look at his bruised face.

Tezuka gasped when he saw the blue eyes that easily penetrated his soul. He was exposed, bared under the gaze. His secrets, his thoughts, his feelings revealed though no word escaped his mouth. The bottomless blue sucked him in, friendly yet dangerous at the same time. He was terrified but at the same time he didn't want the feeling disappeared. Tezuka trembled under the onslaught of conflicting sensations, lost in the perfect dissolution in those eyes.

"What's your name?" The alpha asked softly as to not break the spell Tezuka was under.

"Tezuka Kunimitsu." Tezuka managed gasped out, feeling his mental walls of defense collapse.

The beautiful smile widened, making Tezuka's breath catch all over again. The sunlight coming from the windows behind the young leader made the ethereal beauty glow. The fear Tezuka previously felt dissipated, turning into worship.

"Would you be mine?"

"Please." Tezuka begged, not out of fear but out of desire. He felt that it was the right thing to do, that everything would be better if he belonged to this person. He would be free of the burdens of life when chained to this man. He felt that he had finally found what had been missing in his life and he couldn't let the opportunity pass. "Please."

"Then say my name." The fair-skinned young man urged gently.

A moment of blankness overcame Tezuka before a name appeared in his mind. It was an unfamiliar name and he knew it's a name he'd cherish for as long as he lived. It's the name of the person he'd love and respect for the rest of his life. "Fuji Syuusuke, my master."

T_T

A/N: I'm not really familiar with werewolf myths so I had to google for it and wolves' behavior. Btw alpha leaders do not exist in wolf packs in the wild, it only exist in captivity but it worked with the fic. Uh… I hope I do not disappoint. Fantasy is so hard to write T_T


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This one is originally about 8000 words/16 pages long so I just put 2 parts instead of 4 that I planned.

Disclaimer: PoT characters don't belong to me.

**Haven**

Life in a pack of werewolves couldn't be more different than life as human. It's not just about the strict hierarchy of power but also the life based of brutality and untamed hunger itself. There were many stories of fights of territories and food supplies. Human were rare victims of werewolves but they weren't safe either. Tezuka had heard too many stories of missing people, of blood with no clear origin, of nightly terrors in the forms of prowling black beasts. These werewolves were dangerous creatures ruled by base instinct and their alpha leaders –those who were born werewolves instead of turned into one- like his master.

The alpha leaders were mysterious forces controlling the night world. They were stuff of legends and nightmares. Nobody had ever seen them, or if somebody had then he'd been influenced not to tell a single word of the leader's existence. The only thing known about the leaders was that they came from old lines of purebred werewolves –giving them strength and psychic power far surpassing common werewolves. Their mythical existences were feared by human and Tezuka hadn't been an exception.

Tezuka never thought he'd serve as an attendant of an alpha leader. He'd never thought of being a werewolf in the first place, let alone serving such an enigmatic character merely days after his Change. He knew he was a strange exception. The other betas living in the mansion with the Master had gotten their positions after years of proving their loyalties to their master. They were the selected few who were privileged to live with the Master, ready to fulfill his wishes and protect him. There were also several human in the mansion whose job was to serve and do house chores for the werewolves. These human lived in a living quarter deep in the mansion, protected from werewolves by the Master's order, bound by their captivation toward the beautiful beasts.

Life in the mansion was very comfortable. Almost anything they could want would be provided. Tezuka would only have to ask something from one of the servants and provided that the Master approved, the request would be fulfilled immediately no matter how ridiculously unnecessary. Luxury was the standard of life here. As a child of peasants, Tezuka was confused. He felt out of place, comfortable but ultimately discomfited. He was unaccustomed to the lifestyle, always feeling self-conscious of his how unrefined he was. The fact that he was still being carefully watched by other werewolves in the mansion didn't help. He could only hope that he would get used to the change in lifestyle and earn other werewolves' trust immediately. Tezuka knew there would be no fight break under the Master's roof but he knew that his every mistake was being observed and noted for one purpose or another.

Maybe it was a good thing to live in the mansion with the Master for now, though. Tezuka wasn't sure he would be able to survive had he been left to the mercy of the entire pack of werewolves. The Master lived with the group of a little over twenty in seclusion. Unless ordered by the Master, no one could venture to the old mansion they lived in. The forest surrounding it provided camouflage and protection to the building. Only members of the pack know the way around the place, the little known road that was heavily guarded to ensure the leader's safety. He was the centre of the pack's world, without him the pack would be diminished by aimlessness. It had seemed like a strange life but now that Tezuka had witnessed how vital the role the alpha leader played in his pack's life is, he could fully understood why the werewolves would be lost without him.

Trying not to finger the leather choker marking him as his master's, Tezuka walked to the master's room stiffly. The long corridors were now familiar to him, his senses enabling him to map the mansion within just few hours of exploration. The place was overwhelmed by the power and scent of the Master, of course, but if Tezuka tried really hard he was able to tell the locations of other occupants of the house. His improved senses helped him steer clear from the path of more violent werewolves –despite earning the Master's approval he was still being doubted by many betas and omegas.

He'd been called to see the Master after days of being allowed nothing more than deliver his papers, books, and meals. Tezuka was nervous though he knew that he wouldn't be killed unless proven disloyal. His master wasn't unreasonable, his power allowing him to read people's mind and thus uncovering truth no matter how deeply hidden. This ability earned fear and respect from his people, respect that he didn't misuse as he was a benevolent leader.

Tezuka stopped in front of his master's study room to tidy his clothes since he didn't want to look less than his best in front of his master. His blue shirt, black suit jacket, and trousers made from the finest cloths were tailored to fit his body, another evidence of the Master's favored treatment toward him. He still didn't understand why he was treated so well but didn't wish to disappoint the Master after the generosity.

"Come on in." Tezuka ears captured the words spoken softly from inside the room before he had the chance to knock the wooden door. This caused Tezuka to color slightly in embarrassment so he quickly went in.

"My apology for the intrusion, Sir." He apologized, bowing deeply to show his sincerity.

The Master seemed amused as he chuckled lightly and waved dismissively. He was sitting on a beautifully carved chair behind an oak table and in front of a tall shelf full of books –one of many covering almost every inch of the walls in the room. The wooden panels, furniture, and books in the room were old, suggesting that this place had existed for a good while. There was an aura of oldness and power in this room as it had witnessed the leadership of several masters before Tezuka's. Yet the lighting in the room from the large glass windows made the place seemed warm, friendly. It didn't seem to just be a place to work or study, but to teach and love. It wasn't just a place for rulers and their subordinates; it was also a place for family. Tezuka wondered what kind of family his master had, how they raised him, and how they interact with each other.

The Master wasn't alone today. There were two werewolves with him –their scents previously drowned by the overwhelming scent of the Master. Tezuka recognized them as Eiji Kikumaru and Oishi Syuichiro who were the trusted men of the Master. Tezuka bowed to them as well since they were superior to him, getting a brief nod and curious looks as replies. While he was not on friendly term with them (yet), Tezuka had been treated very well by them. They had full faith on their master's judgment –if he decided to take Tezuka in then he must have a very good reason to do so. Tezuka was grateful for their trust though he knew it wasn't enough to protect him from suspicion and possible violence from other less trusting werewolves.

After perusing several documents and giving orders, the Master dismissed Oishi and Eiji. Tezuka couldn't help but think that the discussion ended because they didn't trust him yet. The thought hurt but he knew that he still had a long way to go before gaining full trust from the pack. He'd heard of painful initiations for stray werewolves which were adopted into a pack and wondered when he would receive his.

"Come here." The Master called and Tezuka immediately approach him, standing a few feet away from the leader. His eyes on the floor and his back slightly bowed to show reverence which was required from someone in his position.

Today the Master opted for a white silk shirt. The top few buttons were undone, showing some of his skin and his long graceful neck. The lean body didn't betray the strength Tezuka knew he possessed. This time the scent of blood was light, indicating that it's been a while since the Master had a violent encounter. "It's all right." The master uncrossed his legs and leaned forward eagerly, a wide smile on his face. This friendly posture convinced Tezuka that he wasn't in trouble so he straightened his body slightly. "How do you enjoy your new life here?"

"I can't be happier, Sir." Tezuka quickly answer.

The Master laughed. "Your expression doesn't say so. Be honest, Tezuka-kun."

The gentle reprimand made Tezuka bow in apology again. "Forgive me, Sir. I'm still adapting to the life here."

This time the Master nodded in satisfaction. "Oishi had told me his concern about your safety. Understandably some of my people are still suspicious of your intentions." He paused, peering into Tezuka's eyes playfully. Despite the friendliness Tezuka could sense something more serious there, something dark and powerful waiting to probe his mind. "You do only have the best intentions to us, don't you?"

The inquiry hurt him more than he thought it would. He didn't care about what others said and thought of him but he didn't want the Master to have any doubts about him. Automatically Tezuka got down on one knee and put his right hand over his heart. "I wish only to serve you, Master."

Tezuka felt something whispered over his thoughts but not infiltrating any further. He wondered if he should feel thrilled that his master seemed to trust his words enough not to feel the necessity to read his mind. But mind-reading didn't seem to be necessary this time as the Master used something else more potent and dangerous to make him spill the truth. "I'm glad to hear that." The Master said with an unreadable tone. The room seemed to darken, oxygen became scarce, and strange pressure weighted on his body, heart, and mind. It was a warning, he knew, of what would happen if he lied to the Master. Tezuka dared not look away from the floor, sensing grave danger in the situation. "I have investigated the attack to your family. My people managed to track them down. They have been suitably punished for attacking human in my territory."

"Forgive me, Sir, but did you…" Tezuka stopped, not daring to continue.

"I have them killed." The Master said coldly with no trace of remorse. The temperature in the room dropped even further. Tezuka was paralyzed in his spot by unseen force, unable to run to save himself. Fear coiled in his guts, reminding him why his master had gained his respectable position in the first place. His compassion and wisdom were longed for while his rage was feared. The contradiction and unpredictability were his greatest power; no one could predict what he would do next thus no one dared to oppose him. "Not only have they entered my territory without permission. They've also attacked human. I have strict policies on this matter. Human are not to be hurt unless in defense and according to you your family had been attacked first." The Master paused, eyeing Tezuka closely. "Or did you lie to me?"

"No, Sir." Tezuka answered with a steady voice that hid his anxiety. "I wouldn't dare lie to you, Sir."

Silence in the presence of the Master was intimidating. Tezuka didn't know what the leader was thinking about, he could only sense death approaching him. He had thought that the night he was changed was the scariest moment in his life. But the experience was nothing compared to the terror he felt at the moment, the terror of being a prey of a far more superior creature. Tezuka shivered at the memory of the night but then it crossed his mind that now he was also a predator. He, too, could now inflict terror and death upon many. Did it mean that he was stronger, better now? Or was he worse because his animalistic instincts were stronger?

Thoughts of strength seemed pointless in the presence of the alpha leader. Tezuka felt insignificant and powerless in front of him. He had the mind to fight for his life when he was attacked but now swift death seemed to be a preferable option in the face of silent horror the Master inflicted.

"Are you afraid of me?" The Master asked quietly.

The tension suddenly melted, freeing Tezuka from the shackles of dread. He didn't know why the mood suddenly changed. All he cared about was to not cause such reaction from the Master again. Tezuka took a deep breath before answering. "Yes, Sir." He answered honestly.

"Do you regret being mine?" The leader asked.

Tezuka thought he could hear insecurity in the question but he dared not ponder on the thought too long. Even if his master did feel insecurity, it wasn't his place to probe. It did upset him that he might have provoked such emotion in his master. Just like the rest of the pack, he wanted to please the leader. "I want nothing more than to have you as my Master." He answered. "I apologize if I have made you think otherwise and displeased you."

"Do you want to please me?" The master asked, wonderment and mischief lining his voice. He was no longer a feared leader now, only a playful young man. Tezuka was relieved though he was also a little confused. Was this the real personality behind the mask frightening mask of power?

"Yes, Sir."

"Then look at me in the eyes and call my name."

Hesitantly Tezuka lifted his gaze from the wooden floor. His fear for the worst was unfounded when warm blue eyes greeted his sight. Suddenly Tezuka felt bad for thinking such terrible thoughts about his leader. In his eyes Tezuka saw promises of a life he once hated, a life that turned out to be neither better nor worse than the life he was more familiar with. Those eyes promised to guide him through the transition to the new world. Tezuka knew he wouldn't be hurt. His master was kind and generous unless provoked. He wasn't emotional like other werewolves, in him resided a wise old soul. Experience and knowledge guided him away from the calling of animalistic desire. His beast was tamed by a soul more human than any mortals.

"Master…" Tezuka stopped when the Master shook his head in disapproval.

"Not 'Master'. I want you to call my name."

Was it appropriate? Wasn't it rude to call the Master by his real name? But the Master had requested it so Tezuka had no other choice. "Fuji. Fuji Syuusuke." When the master –Fuji - nodded his appreciation Tezuka repeated it over and over again until he felt like he could die without having the words rolled off his tongue. "Fuji Syuusuke. Fuji Syuusuke. Fuji Syuusuke."

He stopped when Fuji stood up and approached him. His smile told Tezuka that there was nothing to fear, Fuji didn't mean to hurt him. Tezuka looked up into the seemingly-bottomless eyes when Fuji stood in front of his kneeling form. He maintained eye contact when Fuji lightly caressed his throat, the touch ceasing when obstructed by the choker he was wearing. The smile turned into something else, something Tezuka had never seen, something warmer, something much more beautiful, something Tezuka would do anything to see again.

"Kunimitsu. My Kunimitsu."

What lingering doubt he had dispersed that very moment. He didn't care if this was another trick of mind his Master was playing. This was what he had always wanted. This was what he never knew he always sought. Belonging to Fuji was what he couldn't live without.

* * *

After months of being the receiving end of doubts and suspicions, Tezuka was finally accepted into the pack. The stares, jeers, and threats had dwindled into nothing and now he could walk around the mansion on his own without worrying about being suddenly attacked.

The change exposed him to a side of a life as werewolf he hadn't previously noticed. As a human he had been afraid of the werewolves, seeing them as unruly beasts with no trace of humanity left in them. But now that he was finally admitted as a member of a pack of werewolves he saw a human side of them. The entire pack was caring toward each other. It was a tight-knit community where relationships were more profound than friendship. They were brothers and sisters, members of a very large family which weren't related to each other by blood but by devotion to their leader. As Tezuka was an only child and had few friends, the situation was confusing but he found himself enjoying being cared for, protected, and even teased. It wasn't so different from being with blood-related relatives and though they would never replace his real family, Tezuka now missed his deceased parents and grandfather less and less.

Despite the emotional nature of most werewolves, they get along with each other surprisingly well. Mild arguments arose every now and then but were quickly settled after a hefty meal and a large dose of alcohol. Tezuka was often invited to gatherings in a club in a nearby town. Most of the time he declined but when he did accept he would always be treated to a rowdy party that last till the wee hours of the night. Unlike parties held by human, these parties never ended in fights. The werewolves preferred eating, hunting games, and playful combats to pointless arguments and fights.

Hunting was something Tezuka wasn't really used to. He didn't like transforming to his bestial form to begin with. It was an uncomfortable process that always seemed to last much too long. He'd seen other werewolves transformed and enjoyed the process but he hadn't gotten used to the sensation of having his skeletons shifting places and lengthening, his skin stretching to accommodate his new shape, and fur growing from almost every surface on his body. The change on his face was especially disturbing as a muzzle formed and his teeth turned sharp –perfect for tearing flesh. The new body forced him on his hands and feet which were turned to paws. His logic always took a backseat to instinct at times like this and especially during full moons when he only fleeting grasp of his humanity. The only things he could think about were meal, safety, and his alpha leader then.

The up side was that his senses became even keener that they already were. Tezuka could see, hear, taste, and feel the world like never before. The forest became a fascinating maze full of lives and games. He could spend hours exploring it with the pack, either to make sure that there was no intruder or just to enjoy the wild life. Tezuka would test his strength and speed there by chasing other werewolves or engaging in mock-fights. This helped him bond with other werewolves though he was sometimes worried for his safety since he was untrained.

He had expected to receive hostility again when the offer to practice with Fuji first came but the other werewolves were now surprisingly supportive. They encouraged him to accept it, telling him that it meant Fuji had trusted him with his safety. They said Fuji was probably impressed by his strength and determination to survive when he was found by the pack. It was a great honor, a coveted offer, one Tezuka must definitely not waste.

The truth was even if they had objected, Tezuka would still do it. He had grown some kind of deep fascination toward Fuji especially now that they spent a lot of time together. He no longer saw Fuji just as a charismatic and brilliant leader. He saw other sides of Fuji which only few had seen. Mischievous, competitive, curious, compassionate, eccentric were some of the characteristics that now came to mind when Tezuka thought of Fuji. He whimsical nature couldn't clash with Tezuka's personality more. Unlike Tezuka who craved stability, Fuji constantly changed, testing his adaptability. It was difficult to keep up with Fuji's thoughts and mood changes but the unpredictability thrilled Tezuka. Times spent with Fuji were mental and even physical adventure Tezuka wouldn't want to miss for the world.

But practicing with Fuji was much more challenging that he thought it could be. Fuji's wolf form was much twice as big as regular werewolves, easily reaching Tezuka's chest when standing on its four feet. It's hard to imagine that in his human form Fuji was a lean young man who was shorter than Tezuka. The size meant that he packed a lot more strength than Tezuka though he did play it down so that he wouldn't hurt Tezuka unintentionally. Unlike other werewolves, his fur was silver with little patches of black instead of black and brown. Yet despite the unusual color, he still managed to camouflage himself well. Fuji was also amazingly fast. Tezuka must exert his energy to keep up with him and even when he was running as quickly as he could Fuji would still be well beyond his reach.

Today they were playing hide and seek in the forest that surrounded the mansion. Now, for a large creature Fuji was extremely difficult to find. At first Tezuka had suspected Fuji was using his power to cover any trace and sign of himself as he occasionally did when visiting the town unescorted but Fuji had denied it. Tezuka almost didn't believe him but then he'd witnessed Fuji's speed which would allow him to disappear from sight before Tezuka could turn his head to look. He was also very stealthy, enabling him to move around nearly undetected.

Tezuka stopped to sniff the air. Without any visual and audio clue he could only rely to his sense of smell. He could tell that Fuji was somewhere around him, probably watching him. The scent seemed to come from various locations because Fuji had deliberately moved around him and left his scent everywhere. Tezuka whined softly in confusion. He looked all around him, seeing nothing but trees and shrubs. Carefully he began to walk to one direction. He turned his head every time he heard a sound but most of the time the noise was made by small animals in the forest. Tezuka sniffed the ground, smelling his master's signature scent there. He had once tried to follow the trail only to end up exhausting himself. He had figured that the best way to win this game was by turning the table just as he was being attacked. Easier said than done of course since he mostly didn't realize his 'attacker''s presence until he was pinned down by a large silver wolf.

A sudden crack from a broken branch from behind him made Tezuka quickly turned. This time he was fast enough to see the silver wolf running toward him and then jumping to catch him. Tezuka hurriedly moved away, fighting off his instinct to run. He knew that if he escaped –or if he managed to escape- it's very unlikely that he'd catch a glimpse of Fuji again. Tezuka was several feet away from his previous position just as Fuji's enormous body landed there. Tezuka lowered his body then leapt to catch Fuji unaware. If he could clamp his teeth on Fuji's neck, the game would end.

Tezuka bared his fangs to Fuji who was getting ready to defend himself. He was getting certain about his victory –his first victory!- when Fuji's paw hit the side of his body, knocking him aside. Tezuka gasped for breath and struggled to stand as quickly as possible but his opponent was too fast. Soon, he was pinned down by large paws as sharp teeth playfully bite him. He tried to defend himself and throw Fuji off but unsurprisingly his strength was no match to Fuji's. After a long moment of futilely defending himself, Tezuka whined his surrender and shifted back to his human form.

Tezuka's body began to shrink, bones breaking and reforming into human skeleton, fur lightened and then disappeared into his skin as the canine body turned human-like. His body tingled as an effect of the transformation. He moved his fingers and toes to feel them again as he tried to remember how to work his body.

Fuji was still on top of him though he had ceased to bite him and only nuzzled him playfully during the transformation. He had also taken his weight off Tezuka's body so that he wouldn't crush him.

Tezuka blushed slightly as he always did when he was left naked after his transformation back to his human form. "Fuji, please get off me." He panted out.

Blue eyes looked at him playfully for a while, then Fuji lifted his head and began to change back. Tezuka watched the transformation happening above him in awe. Huge wolf above him got smaller and smaller, turning into lean human. Soft silver fur that just caressed Tezuka's skin pleasantly changed into bare skin. Dangerous fangs disappeared, leaving a dazzling smile. The only things that reminded Tezuka of the wolf were Fuji's blue eyes.

"You've improved. Good job, Kunimitsu."

Tezuka's breath was caught all over again at the sight of Fuji on top of him. Fuji's quiet hum reminded him to breathe again but his heart still raced from more than just adrenaline rush. It wasn't the first time he felt a strong desire to hold Fuji close. Often he wanted to hold Fuji's hand when they were walking around the garden or having tea in the study. He also found it increasingly difficult to keep his eyes off Fuji's beautiful form. He realized that it was an improper feeling, that his desire was forbidden. But it hurt when he had to keep his distance from Fuji, when he had to fake indifference, when he remembered that Fuji would never be his.

But when Fuji was this close, he forgot about those worries. Fuji didn't move, didn't show any sign of being objected to the intimacy. He was looking at Tezuka closely, not in anger or challenge but in longing and expectation. Tezuka swallowed thickly, hoping that it wasn't just his imagination. He didn't fear being hurt if Fuji was enraged by his desire, he feared being banished from Fuji's side forever. He didn't want to take any risk and yet his desire grew too strong to resist with this closeness. Hesitantly Tezuka tucked stray strands of hair behind Fuji ear then lightly ran his hand over Fuji's face. His heart skipped a beat when Fuji leaned down instead of pushing him away. Their noses touched, Tezuka could feel Fuji's soft exhalation on his lips. He held Fuji's waist lightly, not wanting Fuji to leave yet. Please let this not be another tormenting dream. Please let this not be a cruel game Fuji played. Please let this be real.

"Hmm?" Fuji hummed playfully, resting on his arm on either sides of Tezuka's head and leaning even further down. Their eyes were locked onto each other when Fuji's lips touched Tezuka's for the first time.

Tezuka's grip on Fuji's waist tightened as he opened himself for Fuji. He let Fuji explored his mouth gently and tentatively licked back when Fuji coaxed him to participate in the kiss. He happily let Fuji dominated the kiss, clutching on the leader's back and pulling him down. He was a little embarrassed because he was inexperienced and thus unable to please Fuji back, but if Fuji's grip on his hair was any indication then Fuji didn't mind it at all.

"Fuji… Fuji…" He gasped out when Fuji began to kiss and nip his neck. His body burnt with desire and he instinctively rocked his hips up to relief his need. This seemed to make him feel better so he did it again and again and again. Above him, Fuji suddenly hissed and the grip on his hair tightened.

"Kunimitsu." He gasped before sitting up, leaving Tezuka cold and needy on the forest floor. He smiled gently when Tezuka flushed in embarrassment and stroked his cheek comfortingly, his eyes shining with affection and desire. "Let's not continue here."

Unable to refuse an order, Tezuka nodded. Fuji stood up and held out his hand to help Tezuka get up. When he was standing Fuji pressed a soft kiss on his lips, banishing any of Tezuka's thoughts of being rejected. He felt a whisper of affection caressing his mind and held Fuji's hand for assurance. Fuji smiled at him contentedly and pulled him to the direction of the mansion. Tezuka wasn't quite sure what was waiting for him –them- in the future but knew that it would worth this moment of sharing strength and affection.

TBC

A/N: I have to say I kinda want to make this into a novel-length story since this universe is rather intriguing. Unfortunately, I lack the imagination to complete the universe so this is became like a preview of what could be an fantasy novel. Now I feel bad for even attempting this fic... Sorry, Isu...


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I planned to update on Christmas or New Year but got completely distracted by the insignificant thing called RL. This is my fave chapter because it's full of angst ^^ Hope you like it as much as I do..

Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis and its characters belong to Takeshi Konomi.

**Haven**

"She's here." Oishi whispered, panic in his voice.

Tezuka sharpened his senses and indeed felt several new presences in the mansion. One of them stood out in its intensity. It reminded him a little of Fuji though it's not as bright and powerful. It was understandable since this was Fuji's sister presence he was talking about.

He didn't have time to muse this fact because he was quickly ushered to join other trusted werewolves to Fuji's study room. When he entered, Fuji was already waiting with Eiji and another werewolf named Saeki. They were all wearing formal clothes this time because even though it's technically a family reunion, Fuji's sister is married to a leader of another pack which made her an important guest.

On the outside, Fuji didn't seem to care about this arrangement, reading a book to pass time instead of throwing a tantrum or worse. But Tezuka could feel a little displeasure coming from him, perhaps for not having the privacy for the meeting he looked forward to or maybe because he'd been forced to wear an old-fashioned suit with tails. He stifled a smile as he bowed to Fuji before going to his position three steps behind and to the left of Fuji.

"I'll get you for that later." Fuji warned quietly without taking his eyes off the book.

Tezuka bowed in apology but didn't worry about anything worse than bruising kisses as punishment. Oishi gave him a questioning look but Tezuka shook his head, knowing that his relationship with Fuji should not be known by others.

Loud knocking on the door alerted everyone that their guests had arrived. The guards concentrated on their tasks as Fuji allowed the guests entry to the room. Tezuka was slightly nervous but hid it behind a mask of coldness.

A woman who had striking resemblance with Fuji entered. Unlike the other strangers following her, she was wearing colorful clothes instead of black formalwear. She was clad in red dress that reached her knees, held together by big leather belt and accessorized with simple silvery necklace. Her long, wavy, brown hair swayed beautifully as she made her way to the center of the room. She and her formally-dressed escorts bowed to Fuji who had stood up to greet them.

Bravely, she raised her eyes to meet Fuji's. Tezuka noticed that they were the same shade of blue as Fuji's, though her eyes didn't really have the same magnetic pull as her brother's. The siblings stare at each other critically for a while, assessing the change that had happened since the last time they met. Tezuka sensed no hostility, only mild awkwardness that came with years of separation.

"What's with the monkey suit, Syuusuke?" She asked, breaking the tensed silence.

Fuji's laugh lightened the atmosphere. Tezuka could feel tension melting immediately at the sound of the leader's laughter. "I miss you, too, nee-san."

He waved the nervous guards away and they obeyed with some hesitance. To show that she posed no harm, Fuji's sister told her followers to rest in rooms that had been prepared for them. In the end, only Tezuka was left to accompany Fuji, while Yumiko was accompanied by a young female werewolf who was extremely anxious about the idea of leaving her female leader alone.

"This place barely has changed since the last time I came here." Yumiko said after seating herself on a couch while Fuji sat on another couch to her left, smiling at her happily. The attendants stood behind their respective masters, watching the conversation in interest. Tezuka had rarely ever seen Fuji this relaxed in front of anyone. His smiles were often feigned, only done for the sake of politeness. Tezuka had been the only one to witness Fuji's genuine smiles, or so he had thought. It was foolish to feel jealous, but he did. It's strange to have this beautiful woman came in and gained Fuji's entire attention that had mostly been directed to him.

"Don't you think it's more nostalgic this way?"

Yumiko gave her brother a playful look. "I think it only means you lack any talent in decorating spaces."

"I can't say otherwise." Fuji conceded. "How is your husband doing?"

"Oh, he's well. Busy with the pack as usual. We have several newcomers that we're keeping an eye for but let's not talk about that. I don't come here to talk politics with you." She said, waving her hand in dismissal.

Fuji nodded. "Very well. Has he been treating you right?"

It was a question that would shock if not offended many, but Yumiko merely laughed. "You never change, Syuusuke. Of course he's been treating me right. Do you think I will let him treat me less than favorably?"

Fuji smiled but Tezuka could read tension in his posture and the curve of his lips. "I don't want to lose another sibling."

This time Yumiko didn't laugh or smile. "That's right. Yuuta… he was…" She stopped, staring at her clenched fists. "I know he wished to join the fight despite not having sufficient experience but… Sometimes I wish he hadn't gone."

Tezuka had heard of Yuuta. He was Fuji's beloved younger brother who died alongside their father during a terrible territorial dispute nearly a decade ago. Their deaths were mourned by the entire pack for days. Tezuka vaguely remembered hearing sad howls at night during that time. He had also been informed that Fuji's mother died only months after that due to broken heart. Fuji early years as a leader must be very lonely. Tezuka could only imagine how difficult it was for Fuji to rule without any help from a mentor or support from those he loved.

"It was his decision, just as it was father's decision not to ask help from your husband." Fuji said quietly. It was very difficult for Tezuka not to reach out and hold Fuji to give support and comfort. When he felt a barely-there caress in his mind, he quickly projected as much compassion as he could muster. He wanted to tell Fuji that he wasn't alone now, that Tezuka was here with him, but it wasn't the right time for that now. "It was sad but they died honorably. Let's remember them for that instead of mourning their deaths endlessly."

Yumiko nodded and wiped away tears from her cheeks. Her attendant quickly gave her a silk handkerchief to dry her face. "I know, Syuusuke. I know. That's why I couldn't return here before today. This place reminds me too much of them."

"It's all right, nee-san."

"I'm really sorry. You must be lonely all these years. Letters couldn't be enough. I should've been brave enough to visit much earlier." Yumiko said, leaning forward to hold Fuji's hands.

"In case you didn't notice, nee-san, I don't really live alone here." Fuji said, trying to lighten the conversation. "I have plenty of company. In fact, I'm very rarely left alone. Right, Kunimitsu?"

Tezuka knew it was a lie since Fuji did like to sneak out alone every now and then and thus frustrated his subordinates. Maybe he's rarely left alone, but he definitely tried to be alone once in a while. But Tezuka couldn't refuse his master's order so he lied as best as he could. "Yes, ma'am."

The look Yumiko gave him was a little unsettling. However since he didn't feel any mental probing like he used to feel when Fuji read and manipulate his mind, Tezuka wasn't worried. Maybe she was just curious with the new attendant. He kept his face stoic as the conversation continued.

"Syuusuke, you know it's not what I'm talking about. I'm also barely ever left alone. I had to throw a major tantrum to make them leave the room when I gave birth to my first son!"

"Yes, I've heard about that." Fuji said with a chuckle. "The talk reached all the way here. I'm glad they've learnt their lesson the second time around when you gave birth to Yuu."

"In my defense, the pain didn't help to improve my mood. You know how difficult it was to give birth to a purebred."

"No, actually I don't. But judging by your stories, it was a very painful experience."

"It was. It definitely was. That's why my husband won't dare giving me any crap." Yumiko leaned slightly forward, her face suddenly serious. It was obvious that she had now reached the topic she came here to talk about. "Speaking of family, I think it's about time you take a wife."

Tezuka felt his heart sank though he didn't express it. Wife? In front of him Fuji looked as calm as ever, as if he was actually considering Yumiko's request. Or was he really considering it? What was he going to say? What kind of excuse could he give? Would Yumiko buy it? Should Fuji refuse at all? Fuji's silence seemed to last a little too long to Tezuka.

"No, nee-san. I don't want to take a wife yet."

"Syuusuke, you're almost twenty-five. I'm not saying that you're old but do you remember how difficult it was for our father to keep up with you and Yuuta? Besides, we're not immortal. We'll eventually die and someone have to replace us; our children!"

"Nee-san." Fuji said as politely as he could. Tezuka could tell that he had difficulty denying his sister anything, already Fuji found difficulty finding excuses. Would he relent if Yumiko wouldn't give up? Would he leave Tezuka? "I'm enjoying my single life."

"Are you really single?" Yumiko suddenly asked.

Fuji froze for a split second but quickly erased any trace of surprise from his face. "Why, yes."

It hurt. It hurt to not be acknowledged. It hurt to think that Fuji might leave Tezuka to be with a woman. But it hurt so much more to know that there's nothing he could do, because he didn't have the right to do anything but wait.

* * *

As predicted, Yumiko wouldn't give up on the subject of marriage though Fuji kept refusing. The entire pack quickly caught up with the news and it became a hot topic. Everywhere Tezuka turned someone was talking about a prospective wife for Fuji. The leader had apparently been given marriage proposals from other packs more than once in the past, but he had always refused. Each time the topic quickly dropped because no one dared to question his decision but Yumiko's persistence changed things.

Of course Tezuka couldn't say that he didn't want Fuji to get married. Not only their relationship must remain secret but the idea of not taking a wife itself was unacceptable. As a very powerful purebred, Fuji was under a lot of pressure to get married and build a family to continue his precious line. And once he chose a woman as his wife, there would be no place for anyone else until the day he died. Tezuka would be tossed aside, forgotten.

To escape the stifling thought, Tezuka walked around the expansive garden, wishing Fuji was here with him. Before Yumiko's arrival it was rare for him to be separated from Fuji, but now he barely saw Fuji except during parties thrown to entertain Yumiko. Maybe Fuji send him away because he didn't want Tezuka to hear more about Yumiko's plea for him to marry, but Tezuka felt abandoned. He was aware of his duty and his limitations. He also knew that the relationship he had with Fuji might very well not be lasting –as it shouldn't have. He wouldn't stand in the way if Fuji decided to marry. He'd step aside and tried to forget if that's what Fuji wanted. Even if that's not what Tezuka wanted.

It's not his decision that mattered. It's never his decision. He was just a subordinate, just another replaceable person in Fuji's life. He should've known better than to think that what they had would last forever. He should've been ready to accept the fact that Fuji might choose a wife someday. Tezuka had been such a fool, forgetting his place as a mere beta member of the pack. His job was to satisfy, to protect, not to hold his master back from the future obviously meant for him

A growl was his only warning before he was suddenly attacked by a black wolf. He fell to the ground, arm caught between sharp teeth. Searing pain shot through his body as the wolf attempted to bite his arm off. He didn't recognize the werewolf but how did an unknown wolf enter this place? Had the security been slacking? Was it one of Yumiko's attendants? Tezuka knew it's useless to ask so he quickly shifted into his wolf form, the change causing the werewolf to release his arm. Tezuka swiftly moved away, putting a safe distance between them.

Now also in a wolf form, they were more or less equal in power. Tezuka growled in warning, his left front leg limping slightly due to the wound. This meant he couldn't run very fast or very far. He had to fight back as well as he could with his injury. He bared his teeth and growled menacingly but the black wolf was undeterred. It growled back and leapt forward. It clawed and bit Tezuka, especially his around his wound and his neck whenever Tezuka let his guard down.

Thankfully, Tezuka's trainings with Fuji paid off. The wolf's attack was nothing compared to Fuji's. Loud growls and grunts filled the once peaceful garden as Tezuka returned each bite and claw. Tezuka attacked viciously, not holding back since he knew that he was being attacked for real. The attacking wolf whined in pain but the fight was far from over, as the whine signaled the wolf's companions to help it.

Two more werewolves entered the fight and very soon Tezuka was overwhelmed. Wounds had been torn on his torso and legs. One werewolf had even managed to tear a deep wound on his neck. Tezuka lay on the ground, doing his best to graze his attackers as they kept attacking mercilessly. This scene reminded him of the day he was captured by the pack he now belonged in. He had thought he'd grown stronger but it seemed like he wasn't as strong as he predicted. He was still losing; he was still an easy victim. He thought of Fuji, wishing for another rescue and yet he didn't want to be seen in this pathetic state.

He heard a loud crash when a window on the third floor of the mansion broke as a silver wolf jumped through it. It landed on the ground easily, its powerful legs taking the impact effortlessly. An angry growl was issued before it attacked the three black wolves that were still attacking Tezuka. He knocked away two of them with its paw and bit the last one by its neck before tossing it away. It then stood protectively in front of Tezuka who was changing back into human. The two werewolves circled the silver beast fearfully, not daring to attack but wouldn't retreat before ordered to do so by their master. The other wolf, the one that attacked Tezuka at first, lied motionless on the ground and slowly morphed into a nude corpse of a girl.

There was a commotion as people came to the garden to see what's going on. Upon seeing their leader defending one of their friends from foreign wolves, some of them changed into their wolf forms and stood in front of Fuji, ready to charge at the slightest provocation. The two wolves were getting more scared but still wouldn't leave. It seemed like they have been ordered to kill Tezuka and wouldn't return before the order was fulfilled.

"That's enough, you two." Yumiko said, stopping the would-be war. She walked in front of the black wolves, protecting them from the wrath of her brother. At her command, they immediately turned back to their human forms and bowed in apology to her.

Fuji looked at his sister angrily but then change back into human. Oishi immediately covered the leader's nude body with a coat he was carrying and stepped back nervously. The other wolves still stood in front of Fuji as they hadn't been ordered to back off and there was still a chance of another attack, this time to their leader. Fuji didn't seem to notice any of this, blue eyes flashing with anger directed to his sister. Though he was smiling, there was no mirth there, only concealed rage.

"What is the meaning of this, nee-san?"

"Since you kept refusing my request to select a suitable bride, I have no choice but to resort to drastic measures." She glanced at Tezuka, looking displeased by her own order. "I only want the best for you."

"And that would be having my attendant attacked by three of yours?" Fuji said, piercing blue eyes showing nothing but anger. The tension was suffocating, even in his state of injury Tezuka could feel anger tearing into his mind. Fuji couldn't stop it, he knew. He was too upset to control his power. Frowns appear on everyone faces as they tried not to be distracted by the intense storm of emotion.

Yumiko shook her head slowly. "As I said, I have no choice."

"You do. You could just stop asking me to marry."

"I won't stop." Yumiko replied stubbornly. "I might not have your gift, Syuusuke, but I could feel what you don't want anyone to know." She looked at Tezuka angrily. Only due to respect of her brother's authority that she refrained to mention about Tezuka. "Let's make an agreement, Syuusuke. If you agree to my request, I won't hurt _any_ member of your pack."

Fuji closed his eyes and the anger inside the pack's mind intensified to a peak before slowly easing down. He had come to a decision, one that he didn't want to take in the first place. Tezuka could feel the resignation before Fuji completely blocked access to his mind. Tezuka gritted his teeth as he tried to reach Fuji, needing assurance now more than ever. It only resulted in more pain. He knew he'd only make his condition worse if he tried to move. He looked at Fuji, calling him in his mind to draw his attention. But Fuji didn't even turn around. He didn't even look at Tezuka.

"Let's talk inside." Fuji said quietly. "Oishi, take Kunimitsu to his room and call the doctor. Once he is strong enough, take him to my family's house."

With that said, Fuji left them to lead his sister inside. Tezuka tried to protest, tried to stop him but the verdict was out. He shouldn't stay in Fuji's life any longer.

TBC

A/N: In case you're wondering, Yumiko has the ability to read people's emotion here. Next chapter is the most difficult one to write. I can't promise that it's going to be out soon. Anyway, R&R!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I'm deeply sorry for the very long delay. This part is honestly most difficult and I can't stop editing it. Please enjoy…

**Haven**

Tezuka didn't want to recover. He knew he'd be sent away if he recovered. He wanted to stay here even if he wouldn't be able to be with Fuji.

The attacks toward Tezuka raised questions from members of the pack. Why would an alpha order an attack on an ordinary werewolf? For a moment, Tezuka was worried that his relationship with Fuji will be revealed. Like Yumiko, he also didn't want anyone to question Fuji's authority in the pack.

But before anyone could suspect anything, a gossip saying Tezuka was targeted due to being Fuji's favorite was spread. Tezuka suspected it was done with Yumiko's order in an attempt to restore order and erase suspicion toward Fuji. If so, then it worked very well. The pack once again showed their support and understanding, praising Tezuka for his loyalty and brilliance. They agreed with Fuji's decision to send Tezuka to his summerhouse as it was the best way to protect him from possible attacks in the future.

Only Oishi didn't believe the gossip. He knew the truth, though he thoughtfully kept it quiet. His loyalty toward Fuji disallowed him from letting the news out. Fuji wouldn't care about breaking the norm but the fact that he chose not to do so must meant something.

"He isn't ready." Oishi told Tezuka. "It's difficult and he isn't ready. Also, he didn't want to risk your safety, especially after what happened that day." He put a hand on Tezuka's shoulder to show support. He hesitated, but after making sure that no one was eavesdropping, he continued quietly. "He loves you. I know it. I can see it. But he is in difficult position. He has you on one hand and responsibility on the other. Trust me, this decision hurts him as much as it hurts you."

"… I know."

"Trust him, Tezuka. Have faith in him. That's what he needs right now."

Tezuka tried to believe in Oishi, but faith alone didn't do much to make him feel better. Fuji hadn't visited him, sent any message to him, or tried to contact him in any way. He was ready to risk his safety once again to get some sort of assurance that Fuji really cared. He was desperate to meet Fuji and talk to him at least for a while, but Oishi always stopped him, telling him that it could provoke another attack or worse. It wasn't just about his welfare, it's something bigger than that. Yumiko was the wife of a pack leader, fighting her and her attendants could start a war no one wanted. It's not just about Tezuka and Fuji. It was also about other people and Tezuka couldn't selfishly put his desire above others' well-being. Defeated, Tezuka could do nothing but wait in solitude.

About a week after his attack, Tezuka was deemed strong enough to leave. Oishi was among werewolves ordered to take him to Fuji's family's house and guard him while he was there. Fuji gave no indication about when Tezuka was allowed to return, not even assuring him that he would be taken back to the mansion once things had settled down. This convinced Tezuka further that Fuji didn't hope to ever be able to see him again. His heart was torn apart but there was no way for him to express this, no way for him to make it better. It was Fuji's decision and there was nothing Tezuka could do but obey and hope for the best.

When they left early in the morning by cars, Fuji didn't even go to see him off. The only sign that he still cared was in the form of tightening security that would disallow any of Yumiko's people to follow and pose threat to Tezuka. It was difficult for Tezuka not to look back as the car he was in drove past the gates of the mansion that had been his home for over a year now. He knew he wouldn't see Fuji there, watching him. He knew he'd probably not see Fuji again for the rest of his life.

Tezuka tried not to notice the thinning presence of Fuji as they drove away from the mansion. He didn't bother to look at the view outside, knowing that it would only hurt him more to realize that he was moving further and further away from his lover. It was best for him to ignore the concept of space and time, they would only make the distance and the pain grew. He was on his own now. Fuji was no longer beside him to provide support, protection, and comfort. Tezuka had to be strong for himself, for Fuji, for both of them.

"We're almost there." Oishi said quietly, not wanting to startle Tezuka out of his thoughts.

Slowly, Tezuka opened his eyes and looked at the passing scenery outside. He wasn't sure where he was, never having seen this place before. Tall pine trees line up on either side of the unsmooth road. He could also see the top of a mountain in the distance. As they moved closer to their destination, Tezuka saw very few other vehicles or local people, indicating that he might be coming to a small, rural area. He thought he understood the choice of location. In places like this, newcomers would be noticed immediately, ensuring Tezuka's safety from possible attackers. Tezuka allowed himself to smile despite his sadness. Fuji still cared after all, but for how much longer?

Nothing prepared Tezuka for his sanctuary, though. The house he was to live in was located on a small island in the middle of a lake. The only way to get there was by a boat which would quickly be noticed by guards on the lakeshore. Tezuka would live in the house with Oishi, the only one Fuji trusted with Tezuka's safety. No one else was allowed to be in the island for a long period of time. Food and other necessities would be delivered twice a week. Other than that, it would be just the two of them. Both were under strict order not to leave the island unless Fuji directly ordered it or if there was a case of extreme emergency. It was a jail, Tezuka realized. Fuji might intend to protect him initially, but in the end he was sentencing Tezuka to a live in a prison.

It appeared to be the furthest thing from a prison, though. The house had five bedrooms in it; one master bedroom, three smaller bedrooms, and one guest bedroom. Unlike the formal, luxurious design of the mansion Tezuka was more familiar with, this place looked more homely, like a place for a warm family. Despite not having been used in many years, it was well-kept. No speck of dust was found anywhere, the air in the house not damp and moldy like in uninhabited houses, the sheets had been changed recently, the eating and cooking utensils were new, and the kitchen had been filled with enough food for at least a week. Outside, there was a sea of warm colors from myriads of flowers in the garden. Lush green grass seemed to invite him to sit and contemplate the beauty of the mountain and forest surrounding him. Enormous trees acted as shades during burning summer days. There was a small dock there for the boat delivering the goods and beyond it was seemingly endless body of water that separate Tezuka and Oishi from the rest of the world.

If he closed his eyes, Tezuka could imagine a family of a father, a mother, a daughter, and two sons having meals in the dining room. He could almost hear the children's laughter, the conversations by the fireplace. He could almost sense Fuji in this place, could understand how he grew up to be the man Tezuka knew and loved. But when he opened his eyes, they were all illusions. Fuji was nowhere to be found and he was all alone. A fancy prison was a prison, still. It might hurt Tezuka even more here, surrounded by the images of Fuji's past, haunted by Fuji's future he might never be allowed to partake in.

Every night, after dinner, Tezuka went to the garden. There was nothing to be seen in this remote place but tiny specks of lights on the shore where the guard posts were located and the stars above. The mountain was quiet except for the distant sound of nocturnal animals. Tezuka was surrounded by the sound of the rippling water of the tranquil lake, the sweet scent of flowers in the garden, and the smell of forest.

It had now been weeks since he left the mansion now and never once he received a single message to show that Fuji still remembered him. He knew he shouldn't lose his faith on Fuji as it was the only thing that kept him going, but he too need conviction. He needed to know that his love and yearning weren't unrequited. He realized that there was a chance that Fuji didn't care for him as much as Tezuka care for the alpha leader. They were young, they were too different, they could change their minds –Fuji could change his mind. Tezuka fervently hoped that Fuji wouldn't change his mind, that he wouldn't stop caring, that he wouldn't leave Tezuka behind –he didn't think he could handle being left alone again, this time by the person he loved and respected the most in his life. But what could he do to prevent it? What could he do to let Fuji know how his feelings? How to abridge the distance between him and Fuji?

"How is he doing?"He asked to Oishi who was watching him from behind him. He knew Oishi had received messages when goods were delivered to them earlier in the day. The truth was he was envious of Oishi who received messages on regular basis from his friends. Tezuka never received any indication that he was remembered, that he meant something for someone. Tezuka looked up to the sky, not wanting tears to fall.

Oishi slipped away from the shadows and sat on the cool grass beside Tezuka. "He's doing well." Oishi answered kindly. He was constantly optimistic, supportive and encouraging when Tezuka found it difficult to keep his faith. If he was tired or bored of being trapped here with Tezuka, he never showed it. "He's trying to solve the trouble at the border but it's nothing he couldn't handle."

"Has he chosen a wife yet?" Tezuka asked the question he always asked every time Oishi received a message from the mansion.

Oishi looked at him in sympathy but thankfully shook his head. "No. But his sister has been pushing many potential wives to him. Tezuka…"

"I know." Oishi had said it often enough. Tezuka had told himself often enough. He knew he had no choice but wait. He knew there was a chance that he will be forgotten. He knew he'd better not ask. He knew there was nothing he could do with his situation.

"Eiji sent a message to me telling me that Master has been distraught since you left. He isn't happy with the prospect of getting a wife. He wants you and no one else, obviously. He's going to find a way to have you back."

Tezuka stood up. He looked at the distant world that he no longer belonged in. Oishi had probably lied to cheer him up. Probably he had read too much between the lines. Probably Fuji was only distracted by work. And yet a hopeful part of Tezuka wanted to believe Oishi, wanted something to keep his will to live. He needed to believe that Fuji loved him and would find a way to bring him back to his life. The time they spent must have meant something. Those kisses, those words, the little things Fuji did for no one else but him, they must've meant something. Tezuka wasn't like other werewolves in Fuji's pack. He was special. He wouldn't be forsaken. He wouldn't be forgotten.

But as soon as Tezuka closed his eyes, the wistfulness disappeared, defeated by grim possibility that wouldn't leave his mind. "Maybe he'll decide not to find a way."

"Tezuka…"

"He's our master, Oishi. We should support his judgment, whatever it is."

"So you will support him even if he decided to marry someone else?"

Tezuka looked away, hiding the tears pricking his eyes. "I have to." He had to even if he didn't want to, even if he'd never stop loving Fuji.

* * *

Tezuka had thought that the worst could happen to him was anxiety and impatience. He didn't know when he would be summoned back to the mansion or whether he would be ordered to return again at all. There was nothing he could do but resigned his fate to Fuji. He trusted his leader and lover's judgment, whatever that might be. But his faith was soon tested even further.

The news about the war reached Tezuka sometime after the New Year. A pack of werewolves led by a disowned purebred werewolf named Matsumoto had gained strength by brutally attacking human and then turning them into werewolves. With this new, albeit untrained, force they began attacking neighboring territories, including Fuji's. What had been dismissed as minor attacks quickly degenerated into the biggest since the territorial dispute that killed Fuji's father and brother. Many members of the pack had been called to defend their territories and warnings had been issued to keep young members of the pack and human safe. As days dragged on without any sign of the enemy withdrawing from the border, Fuji was forced to declare war.

Tezuka wanted to go, not only to meet Fuji but also to defend his territory. It was an obligation. It was what he's trained for. He couldn't sit idly by while his friends risked their lives in a war. Even Oishi couldn't argue this time and didn't try to stop him. It was indeed a case of emergency and he was ready to leave the island and follow Tezuka to the battlefield. But before they could leave, Inui Sadaharu, a medic, arrived in the island with a message from Fuji.

Tezuka's hand shook slightly as he accepted the message. For the first time since the day Tezuka was attacked by Yumiko's attendants, Fuji made contact directly with Tezuka. He hadn't been forgotten after all. He hadn't been forsaken. But Tezuka knew better than to expect this message to contain words of affection he longed for. Fuji's absence and Inui's arrival spoke louder than words. It wasn't the time for Tezuka to return to Fuji's side as a lover.

_Stay where you are. Do not leave the island unless I order you to. Take care of yourself._

"He told me not to leave." Tezuka said, clutching the piece of paper tightly.

"Then you mustn't leave." Oishi told the quiet young man, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You, too, must stay here with Tezuka, Oishi." Inui said when Oishi turned to him, seeing the determination in his eyes. "Master doesn't trust anyone else to be here with him."

Oishi's shoulder sank in disappointed but didn't argue, only nodding in silent acceptance. Fuji's decision was unquestionable, no matter how much he disagreed with it. Like Tezuka, he could only swallow his disappointment and obey. "I'm sure he's going to take care of everything soon. Everything will be all right." He told Tezuka to console him.

Tezuka nodded. The letter, though succinctly worded, gave him strength that loneliness had sapped out. It gave him the affirmation he needed that Fuji still remembered him and wished for his safety though he might not want Tezuka's presence beside him right now. Fuji still cared. He might even still love Tezuka. There might be hope for them after all.

"How is Master doing now?" He asked Inui carefully, not sure whether to reveal the nature of his relationship with Fuji or not.

"He's doing well. He's preparing to join us at the battlefield."

Tezuka's body grew cold with fear when he heard that. He tried to keep the emotion hidden but he wasn't sure he succeeded. He knew Fuji's strength well, having witnessed it many times. Fuji's mental power wasn't to be underestimated, either. But the knowledge didn't make him feel any more at ease. Was everything really going to be all right? Would Fuji be all right? Fuji had his allies and his immense power but their enemies couldn't be taken lightly. Their strength was in number, not necessarily in experience, but number itself could be lethal. Injuries were unavoidable during wars, Tezuka knew. It wasn't realistic to expect Fuji to escape it unscathed, but what kind of risk had his Master put himself into? Should he really risk leaving his pack leaderless? Could Tezuka let him risk his life like that?

"Tezuka…"

"… He will be fine." Tezuka told himself and Oishi, clenching his hands tightly into fists. He didn't know how much he really believed in those words. "He is strong. He won't be defeated."

"We will win." Oishi added with more optimism than Tezuka could conjure up at the moment. "Master isn't an easy opponent to defeat."

"Yes." Tezuka agreed. He tried to put up a strong front but he knew that he wouldn't be able to lie for a long time. He read the message over and over again and tried to make himself believe in victory, in Fuji's absolute safety, in a meeting in the future. He felt useless, powerless. He knew Fuji wanted him to stay safe but Tezuka would feel so much better out there, fighting Fuji's enemy and protecting him, instead of being confined here and tormented with worry.

Inui cleared his throat to draw attention from Tezuka and Oishi. "If you don't mind, there's something I want you to do." He said to Tezuka. When Tezuka didn't reply, he drew out a thick book from his bag and handed it to the brunet. "I want you to make herbal medicines for me. We will need a lot of medication for our wounded friends and there's a great chance that I won't be able to leave the war to find the ingredients and make the necessary medicine. Everything you need to know about making them is in this book and I believe this area has many plants essential to making them. What do you think?"

There wasn't a single doubt in Tezuka's mind. If he wasn't allowed to leave this place then he would find another way to help Fuji and his friends. He wasn't a trained medic or a herbalist, but he's more than willing to try to do this for Fuji. He accepted the book and nodded to Inui gratefully. "I'll see what I can do."

"Good. I believe I will really need your help in a month time. I will send a message on the specific medicine I need and send someone to take it for me."

Inui must be aware of Tezuka's relationship with Fuji if he's willing to offer such an opportunity. That must have been the reason why Fuji chose him to send the message to Tezuka. Did Fuji tell him or did he find out on his own? Yumiko hadn't revealed their relationship for a reason. While Tezuka was very certain that no one would dare disrespect Fuji for his relationship with Tezuka, he was also aware of the high expectancy toward Fuji to continue the family line by producing an heir.

This thought hurt Tezuka and so he focused on the matter at hand. After all, he had decided that he would accept Fuji's decision regarding their relationship, whatever that decision might be and no matter how much pain it might cause him. Right now what's truly important was assisting his leader and friends in the war.

As soon as Inui left, Tezuka studied the book. As he had predicted, it wouldn't be easy. He could barely recognized the names of the herbs needed, could hardly tell what part was dangerous and what was useful, didn't quite understand what he was supposed to do. But that didn't deter him from trying. He spent days learning about many kinds of medications, especially the ones that might become useful in a war. His greatest fear was that his medication wouldn't be effective or even be dangerous. He was grateful for the little notes Inui wrote in the book to guide him, but the best way to learn was to practice it. He must take a risk.

Oishi didn't disturb him, knowing that Tezuka needed to ease his anxiety by focusing on making his own contribution to the war. He was right, but trepidation was never far from the brunet's mind. During the day he could occupy his mind with Inui's request but at night he was left alone with his thoughts. He struggled to be strong but he had his limit and he loved Fuji too much to completely leave his worry behind.

"Do you intend to kill me with longing and anxiety?" Tezuka wrote down on a piece of paper one day when keeping his thoughts quiet was too much to bear. "Or do you love me so much you keep me this far away from you to protect my meaningless life?"

The short letter remained unsent, unanswered. Tezuka's heart constantly ached with loneliness but it wasn't time for romance. Fuji couldn't afford distraction. He shouldn't be distracted. There was nothing to do but to put sentimentality aside and focus on the task at hand; to protect the lives of others. They were going to war.

* * *

There was no way of knowing the condition in the frontline except from news brought to them by the guards on the banks of the lake. There were a large number of casualties of Fuji's side, especially after their enemy found an ally in a pack on the east border of Fuji's territory. Their pack managed to not let the enemy go any further into their territory but strong defense wasn't always good enough as offense. Fuji was forced to ask for reinforcement from his in-law's pack to help secure the border as well as patrol nearby towns. Along with allies from other attacked territories, Fuji also blocked the enemy's location to cut off the logistic, hoping that the alpha leader would be sensible enough to surrender when his people began to starve and suffer.

Yet despite all these efforts, there was no sign of the war stopping anytime soon. Death toll increased daily, injured and old werewolves were sent back for cover and treatment. Younger werewolves replaced them. Those who hadn't been called to the war dedicated their time polishing on their combat skills. Smiles disappeared from people's faces, replaced by frowns and looks of worry. Happiness seemed to be a thing from the distant past. Would victory return it to people? The scars and the trauma seemed too deep to heal. Would they ever return to the lives they once had?

As the war dragged on, Tezuka could smell new presences near the lake, human allies that Fuji sent to warn the villagers to stay away from the borders and human searching for refuge from the war. It was obvious then that despite their effort to stop the enemy at the border, the calamity had spread. Though Fuji had tried his best to keep human out of harm, he wasn't always successful. Tezuka heard too many stories of missing family, friends, and lovers and grieved for them. He wished he could give words of encouragement and hopes, but he would be lying. He knew all too well how unlikely it was for the missing people to return alive and well.

Many injured werewolves were ordered to return to recuperate before being summoned back to the war. From these werewolves, Tezuka heard the horror of the war: the surprise attacks, traps, and weapons. He listened to their heroic battle alongside their courageous leader, wishing nothing more but to be there. He envied them, those who could openly protect Fuji and voiced their devotion to him.

"You don't know how much help you've given us." Momo, a young werewolf returning from war, told Tezuka as the bespectacled man was inspecting his wound. There were plenty of scars on his skin, some were old but many were new. There were stripes of scar tissue from where their enemies had clawed him, no doubt causing a lot of blood loss. As if this wasn't bad enough, Tezuka also recognized what could be bullet wounds.

"I did nothing." He replied, hiding bitterness behind a stoic mask. "Did they use guns?"

Momo nodded, frowning in displeasure. "Yes. They have guns with silver bullets and silver arrows. You know how slowly we heal from wounds created by silver weapons. We lost many of our friends that way, when medics didn't arrive soon enough."

"How does our side deal with that?"

This time Momo grinned, easing Tezuka's worry a little. "We have our own weapons, too, of course. If anything, we cause more damage to the enemy with our weapons since Master use them really well. He is a brilliant strategist, you know?"

Tezuka turned away to hide his pride. He knew Fuji's intelligence very well and was glad it served him well during this difficult time. He was also glad to see that people never seemed to lose their faith in their leader, believing that everything his decisions were made after careful consideration. It showed Tezuka just how great Fuji's influence really was. His power wasn't confined in that mansion alone. He was a well-respected figure, a true leader. One of the greatest Tezuka ever knew about.

"Tezuka," Momo said just as he was about to return back to the post on the shore where he was to protect Tezuka while recuperating. "I'm serious. You've done a lot for us. If not for your medicine, a lot more of us would have died." He told Tezuka this with the most serious look Tezuka had ever seen on the young man. "We owe you a lot, even if you don't think so."

Momo's words gave Tezuka strength and confidence he didn't think he lacked. Perhaps because he was so out of his element, he began to slowly lose faith in himself. He was trained to fight, not to make medicine. Staying away from the war was a continuous struggle, he felt that he hadn't fully done his part if he hadn't fought anyone for his master. Tezuka hadn't really thought of how his medicine could help, mostly crediting paramedics such as Inui for saving lives. But perhaps Momo was right, that he was helping them more that he thought he had.

But as Momo had said, no everyone was managed to be saved. On nights of full moons, Tezuka could hear haunting howls of werewolves mourning for their lost friends and the endlessness of the war. He listened to them carefully, feeling a little guilty when relief washed over him when there's no news of Fuji receiving fatal injury or worse. He wasn't quite alone though, because many others found Fuji's safety as a sign of hope for victory and thus the end to the lengthy war. Together they hoped for an end to the bloody conflict as well as the safety of their leader. Hope was all Tezuka had, hope was what he would hold on to.

"Master leads us in nearly every attack. If not for his advisors' plea, he would've stayed in the frontline." Kaido, Inui's messenger, told Tezuka. He came every other week to get medicine from Tezuka and also to give the latest news. It was difficult to ignore the stench of death on him. He could smell blood, flesh, explosive powders, and medicine on Kaido; the scents stronger and stronger as weeks went by. He wasn't uninjured, either, once even coming with healing wounds all over him to show just how close he had come to death. Tezuka wondered how many deaths Kaido had witnessed in his young age, how much suffering he had experienced, and how this war would affect him in the future. There were exhaustion and grief hidden in Kaido's eyes, feelings he shouldn't express for he was required to be strong. It had been over three months, how much more horror should they bear?

"How is he?" Tezuka asked in an even voice that didn't belie his sadness and anxiety. He had noticed that Inui's demand had increased in number, showing how the war had become more intense. Yet despite this, there was still no sign of surrender from their enemy even though they must be close to running out of resources. Tezuka could only hope that Matsumoto would be sensible enough to not torment his people any more than this. They had gone to war and died for his nonsensical obsession that many of them didn't even believe in the first place. At times like these, Tezuka felt that werewolves' faithful trait was a weakness, it would only lead them to useless deaths. Human could desert their leaders, but the bonds between werewolves and their alpha was stronger than mere rank and money. Even if they disagree with their masters, there was no way to sever their connection but by death. Tezuka pitied those who were forced to join Matsumoto's army but there was nothing anyone could do for them. Their lives were no longer theirs, they had now belonged to their masters.

"He received some minor injury." Kaido said sadly. It was obvious that he didn't want to involve Fuji in this war, either, but the choice wasn't in his hands. It was Fuji's decision and they all must respect and support it regardless of their concern. "We do need him to scan the area for our enemy's presence since Matsumoto has the ability to hide his physical presence but still…."

"Has Master ever encountered our enemy's Alpha leader?" Tezuka asked, his voice quivered just slightly. He had never seen two alphas fighting each other, but from what he had seen from his practice with Fuji, he knew it would be a very dangerous battle. He also knew that if and when it happened, it would be a life and death situation. Letting the other live meant risking revenge from his pack, a risk neither would be willing to take. The fight would have to end with death.

Kaido thankfully shook his head. There was worry in his voice as he answered. "No. Not yet."

They knew it's only a matter of time before it happened. Ordinary werewolves had very little chance to defeat a purebred, especially one as strong as Matsumoto. That left the task to Fuji and other purebred werewolves joining the war. There was no point in sending their subordinates to their deaths like that. They would have to take the risk and fight the enemy's leader on their own.

Tezuka spent hours in a day to cut, grind, boil, and dry the herbs for worst case scenario he felt was coming. The routine was rather comforting though exhausting as it took his mind of morbid possibilities, of months coming and going without giving even a hint of an end to the war. His hands became rough from the labor, his muscles protesting from heavy workload he was not accustomed to. His body was aching from the effort, but he relished it. He thought of people who died during the war, injuries sustained, and knew that what he experienced was nothing. It was his only way to try to feel what Fuji must be experiencing out there now. Tezuka didn't realize how right he was.

When Oishi came running to him one morning, Tezuka immediately knew something was off. At this time of the day, Oishi was usually out in the mountain to collect herbs for Tezuka. The panic in his face and his voice quickly alarmed Tezuka who promptly left his work to question his companion.

"Master… He's injured." Oishi gasped out, scared and angry at the same time. He wiped perspiration from his face, clearly he left in a rush to tell Tezuka about this news. "He fell into a trap to protect our friends and then…." Here Oishi stopped, unable to contain his emotion. Tears brimmed in his eyes, fear and rage battling there as he struggled to continue. "Matsumoto forced him into a battle… He…"

"How is he?" Tezuka demanded, his voice cracking in fear. His mind was filled by an image of Fuji covered in blood, heaving his final breaths. His heart sank at the thought. No, Fuji was strong. He wouldn't be defeated so easily. But then again, werewolves weren't immortal. They would eventually succumb to death. Was it Fuji's time now? No, please let that not be the case.

Oishi shook his head. "He won. Master won, but… He's not well at all. He was hit by a large trunk covered with silver arrow heads and the wounds from the battle weren't light either. He's been bleeding profusely and suffered several broken bones. He's been taken back to the mansion to recover."

Tezuka's mind went blank as he heard the news. His body chilled from fear of Fuji's life. Would it happen again? Would he lose another person that he loved? He had been unable to safe his family then, would it be the same with Fuji now? He couldn't let it happen again. He didn't want to be left alone again. Tezuka swallowed to relieve himself from the tears clogging his throat, constricting his heart.

"I'm going." He said to himself, then to Oishi. "I'm going there now." He said, eyes shining in determination.

Tezuka rushed to the door. In his haste he didn't even think of how he'd cross the lake. All he could think about was Fuji. He didn't want to lose anyone else in his life. He didn't want to feel the pain of mourning for his loved ones again. He couldn't let that happen to him again. He didn't want Fuji to die. He didn't want to love in a world without Fuji. He wouldn't be able to live through that.

But Oishi grabbed his arm tightly to stop him. "You can't go!"He begged.

Tezuka glared at his friend. "How could I stay here knowing what has happened to him?" He growled, pain evident in his eyes and voice.

"I know it's difficult for you, but you shouldn't go. It won't be just us. There would be a lot of people visiting to wish him a speedy recovery, including his sister." The mention of Yumiko got Tezuka's attention, the memory of what happened the last time he met the woman returned. He let Oishi pull him away from the doorway. "She might still hold ill intent toward you and this time Master wouldn't be able to protect you. You are still the most important person in Master's life now! He wouldn't want to put your life in danger! Think of it! Don't hurt him anymore than he's already hurt now!"

Tezuka sat down on a chair heavily and lowered his face to hide the tears in his eyes. It felt selfish to stay here to stay safe when Fuji was probably dying in the mansion. But Oishi was right; Fuji wouldn't want him to come now. He had asked Tezuka to take care of himself. That's why he sent Tezuka here in the first place. That's why he wouldn't let Tezuka go to the war. But wasn't this taking things too far? Why couldn't he see Fuji now when he was injured? When would he be allowed to see Fuji? Would he ever see Fuji again? Was he a burden to Fuji? Should he remove himself from Fuji's life entirely? Could he live a life away from his love? The only thing that could put an end to their love was death, the one thing he wanted to cheat right now.

Oishi put his hand on Tezuka's shoulder comfortingly. "I'm sorry, Tezuka. I really am. But this is the best we could do for him."

"You're going to see him?" Tezuka managed to ask, still hiding his face in his hands.

"Yes. I'll be leaving for a few days to see how Master is doing. A boat will arrive to pick me up again soon."

Mentally bracing himself against the pain battering his soul, Tezuka stood up and went to a cabinet where he had stored all the medications he had made. He selected a few of them, the best medications for closing injuries, preventing infections, and strengthening body's natural immune system. He put them in a large box and gave it to Oishi.

"Take these with you. I hope these could help." He said as Oishi took the box with a sad smile on his face. "Tell him…" He stopped. There were so many things he wanted to say. There were so many feelings he couldn't relay through words alone. The need to be near Fuji nearly suffocated him, but he must stay. Even if this seemed selfish and heartless, he must stay. "Tell him… I hope for a perfect recovery for him."

Tezuka didn't watch Oishi leave. He couldn't. He only stayed in his room, staring at the ceiling until his sight blurred with tears that wouldn't be stopped.

TBC

A/N: This part is difficult not only because it depicts a war -something I have never written about before- but also because it focuses on someone not joining the war itself. I honestly have difficulty showing the horror of the war when Tezuka doesn't even know what's going on. He only relies on people's report and what little he perceives from the island but doesn't actually know what's going on. This chapter is also the reason why I said this fic would probably be better as a novel-length story. I wish I could show what's really going on all over Fuji's territory and the drama and action at the frontline. However, I don't want to break from the character who is the focus of the story, Tezuka. I deeply apologize if this isn't up to your expectation. I hope the next (and last!) chapter will be able to make up for some of my mistakes here.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I'm back with the final chapter! Sorry for the long wait, I was busy with college. But now there's no more college! Woohoo! So I present you with this chapter which has been done and redone several times. I hope you enjoy this!

Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine. I don't even know what they're up to anymore.

**Haven**

The scent of human and werewolves from the village slowly began to fade, showing that many of them had returned to their homes now that the war had ended. Tezuka could see tension and fear disappearing from people's faces, replaced by smiles and laughter. There were still remains of grief for those they've lost, but above all there was hope for a better tomorrow. The wounds from the war wouldn't heal so quickly, the lives lost would never be forgotten, but live went on in remembrance and respect to those who had defended them. As people returned to the lives they had been forced to leave behind, the isolated place was once again quiet and Tezuka felt forgotten.

Days passed so quickly yet so slowly. Without work as distraction, Tezuka's mind was constantly worrying about Fuji's state so far away from where he was. Tezuka was a sensible man, but all logic disappeared when it came to his beloved master. The few information he could gain from people delivering goods to him were vague at the very best. They always said that Fuji was recovering, but from what kind of injury? How badly hurt was he? Was there a chance for him to help in any way?

Oishi's letter arrived too slowly for Tezuka's sanity, but it still alleviated some of his worry. He skimmed through long paragraphs depicting the busyness in the mansion as well-wishers come and go while Fuji's people were trying to reinstate order in the territory. It was still an uncertain time, and Oishi begged him to understand that he couldn't send him letters as often as he'd like to. There were many things to take care of, like their Master's health.

_Master is recovering. His wounds are a little worse than predicted, but the medics are doing their best to heal him. It might still take a little longer before his health could be restored perfectly._

Worse than predicted? Tezuka wanted to ask for more information, something to ease some of his worry, but couldn't. Not when Oishi also warned him in that very note that Yumiko was staying at the mansion to care for Fuji. The cowardly act of hiding from Yumiko tortured Tezuka. He felt he should've been braver, should've been more persistent even if it might cost him his life. How could he claim to love Fuji when he couldn't bring himself out of his hiding?

But Tezuka dared not disobey Fuji's order, the only sign that Fuji still cared for his wellbeing. Would it please Fuji to see him hurt by his sister? Tezuka knew that it wasn't just a matter of familial relationships between these siblings. Two major territories were involved and he'd rather not provoke another lengthy period of fear and suffering. He must stay here until Fuji chose to be with him or forget him. But when would the decision be made?

Tezuka grew tired of counting the days, for every second seemed to stretch into a long hour. What should he do when there was nothing to serve as distraction to his worry? How long could this go on? Tezuka was getting tired of this loneliness. He felt like a fool, unable to function without knowing his beloved was happy and well. Oishi had convinced him that he wasn't being abandoned; he was merely protected. But this felt so much like abandonment. He was left out, not allowed to contact Fuji in any way. This wasn't haven, this was torture. But who was he to say anything? Who was he to protest and demand something else? The choice wasn't his to make. It was no longer his.

There was nothing else to do but wait, so wait he did. Tezuka lay down under a tree, wondering what he was missing and how far removed he was from the rest of the world. It didn't take very long before grim thoughts of hopelessness exhausted him and he gave up the reality for fantasy. The wind caressed Tezuka in his sleep in a mocking mimicry of a lover's touch. The sun reminded him of the warmth in a lover's embrace. His dream took him to the time and place where nothing else mattered but their togetherness. In that dream Fuji was here with him, smiling to him, loving him. Tezuka wanted to believe that it was real, but there was something lacking, emptiness still remained in his heart and couldn't be filled with anything but Fuji's presence near him. And as his heart ached with too much longing and love, he knew that Fuji wasn't here.

The air shifted, perhaps signaling a coming rain. Tezuka didn't care, he continued to sleep, forcing himself to stay in his dream world longer. It was the only relief he could find at the moment. It was the only place where he could find a semblance of contentment. If Fuji couldn't be with him in reality, then he could at least be with Fuji in his dreams. Yes, it was running away from truth, but he needed to take a break from the pain, from acting strong when all he wanted was to break down.

Tezuka moved around, trying to find comfort on the cool grass. Something blocked his movement, causing him to frown slightly in his sleep. He was sure there was nothing near him before he slept. What was it then? Tezuka heard a soft, calming whisper near his ear, telling him to continue sleeping, but he resisted. He struggled with sleepiness, trying to win back consciousness. Something was different, something he must wake up to. He didn't sense danger, but he was certain there was someone with him now, someone he must see... Slowly his consciousness returned, delivering him a sound of steady heartbeat, human warmth, scent of herbs and blood… Blood!

His eyes flung open and Tezuka was immediately greeted by the sight of his love smiling at him serenely. Fuji was wearing a thick black coat that hid his injured body and protected it from the lengthy trip, the dark color of his outfit making him look paler than usual. He looked exhausted and in pain, but the warmth in his eyes was shone through them. Tezuka stared at Fuji in disbelieve, partially expecting this image to disappear in a second as it usually did in his dreams. But no, this time Fuji stayed. This time Fuji smiled sweetly and caressed him. This time Fuji was really here.

"You're such a deep sleeper." Fuji said teasingly. He caressed Tezuka's cheek hesitantly, as if worried that Tezuka would pull away at any moment.

Pulling away was the last thing Tezuka wanted to do. Tezuka held Fuji's hand tightly and turned his head slightly to kiss it. He wanted to tell Fuji how happy he was, how angry he once had been, how worried he felt, how much he always would love Fuji, but no words escaped him. He kissed Fuji's hand repeatedly, hoping the simple action could convey what he couldn't speak out loud.

"I'm sorry." Fuji whispered, pulling Tezuka into his embrace. "I've let you suffer too much, too long." Tezuka shook his head, which lay on Fuji's chest, but Fuji insisted on his point. "Yes, I have. I should've made my decision sooner. I should've chosen to stay with you much earlier."

As happy as he was to hear this, Tezuka knew it wasn't right. Somehow he found strength to push Fuji away, even though it hurt him to do so. "Your sister was right. You should find yourself a wife."

This time Fuji shook his head. He held Tezuka's chin in a gentle but unyielding grip and made him look into his eyes. "I don't need a wife. I need you."

"You must have a successor. I can't provide you that." Tezuka stated matter-of-factly. Not only was he a male, but he's not a purebred either. As an alpha leader Fuji needed a purebred successor, people expected him to have successor. Tezuka understood that, he knew that's why Yumiko didn't wish for him to be around Fuji anymore. He was happy that Fuji finally chose him, but was Fuji aware of the consequences of this decision? Was he aware of what he must give up in order to be with Tezuka?

Fuji frowned lightly, showing displeasure for the first time. "I know my responsibilities, my family has educated me enough on it. But obligations aren't the only thing that mattered. I, too, have a life. I have my wants and needs to be happy and I don't believe I'll find it anywhere else but in you." He continued before Tezuka had a chance to argue. His eyes softened but he was no less serious that before. "It took too long, but I finally have the courage to choose my happiness over other things and my sister finally understood. Yuu, my nephew, will replace me to lead our territory once he's old enough. I have Oishi and other people manage things in the mansion. From now on I will stay here with you. I will try to make up for every pain I put you through."

Tezuka wanted to argue but the resolve in Fuji's eyes made him stop. They stared at each other for a moment in a battle of will. As always, Tezuka lost. He chuckled softly, warmth spreading in his heart. He had almost forgotten how it felt to be content, to be alive, to be in love. For months he had lived in loneliness and longing. Gloom was the only thing he could feel then. But right now, this moment, a simple smile was all it took to make him happy and convinced him that everything would be all right.

"Kunimitsu, will you let me stay with you?"Fuji asked, looking genuinely remorseful for his previous indecision.

Deciding that words were unnecessary, Tezuka pulled Fuji into a kiss. He had missed this, missed Fuji's warmth, Fuji's body against his, Fuji's soft lips, Fuji's kisses, Fuji's affection. He could feel Fuji's remorse and love slowly overwhelming him, filling the void in his heart perfectly. Fuji wrapped his arms around Tezuka tightly, as if to never let him go. And this time, Tezuka knew he really never would let go.

* * *

Tezuka spent the next few days dutifully tending to Fuji's wounds despite knowing that werewolves had speedy recovery. Fuji on the other hand, insisted on using the time he had to make up for whatever wrong he had done Tezuka in the past. He took his words seriously, doing his best to make Tezuka smile even in his injured state. Every moment was gratifying, cherished well after the time they spent apart from each other. They spent hours talking, making love, or just sitting next to each other, enjoying the peace they hoped would last forever.

Of course the peaceful life didn't last very long. As soon as Fuji fully recovered, letters and documents arrived every other day from Fuji's people seeking advice and approval in their attempts to manage the territory. No matter how much Fuji told them that they had done a good work, they kept asking for direction. Tezuka knew it was rare for an alpha leader to leave the task of tending his territory to betas. Ordinarily, it would be seen as an act of irresponsibility, but he knew that Fuji was anything but irresponsible.

"Maybe I should have made some time to educate them on the art of managing a territory, before I left." He told Tezuka as he finished a small mountain of paperwork Oishi had sent from the mansion, looking a little guilty and yet amused by his subordinates' fear of making a wrong decision.

Tezuka didn't really mind, though. If anything, he was happy that he hadn't rendered Fuji incapable of being a competent leader. He knew it was only a matter of time before they would only ask for Fuji's help in making the most important decisions. It was a sudden change, indeed, and Fuji could even be blamed for his sudden departure to this island. There were a lot of things to adjust to, not only for those left at the mansion, but also to Fuji and Tezuka. But Fuji had taught him to be selfish. He taught him that it was all right to want to have this happiness when it didn't hurt anyone.

A couple of months after Fuji's arrival to the island, he had his first guests; Yumiko and her son, Yuu. Fuji was gracious as he welcome their arrival but Tezuka could sense tension in the air, saw it in the discreet, suspicious looks from Yumiko's attendants. The attack toward him hadn't been forgotten. Fuji was obviously wary of his sister's intention, not quite trusting that she had given up on asking him to marry. She was a strong-willed woman, she wouldn't change her mind or her objective easily. Even Tezuka must admit that he was worried, knowing that despite being the alpha leader, Fuji still had a soft spot for the only remaining family he had.

Realizing her hosts' distrust, Yumiko told her attendants to leave to show that she meant no harm, a message not missed by Fuji and Tezuka. Only then the alpha leader let her and Yuu into the house as a show of trust. Tezuka would be lying if he said he was entirely confident of his safety, but he wouldn't dare show disrespect toward the wife of another pack's alpha leader. "I'm here to accompany Yuu on his first lesson and see you awed by his brilliance." She joked to melt the remaining tension as they sat down in the living room for a chat. There was no trace of violence in her countenance, but Tezuka knew that it wasn't beyond her to resort to bloody tricks.

"Mother!" Yuu said in mild embarrassment, redness coloring his fair cheek. "I hope I won't disappoint you, Uncle!" The child said with a bright smile, similar to that of his mother. While some of the embarrassment remained, Tezuka could see determination and confidence in the boy's smile. Yuu immediately reminded him of Fuji, though he was more honest, more open with his feeling than Fuji was. Perhaps that's why Fuji chose him to be his successor.

"You make me feel old!" Fuji said with a laugh, his remaining hostility disappearing before the innocent child.

Tezuka could see that Fuji was fond of Yuu from the way he smiled and laughed genuinely. They acted as if their last meeting wasn't years ago, as if they were always very familiar with each other from the start. Yuu was a friendly boy, making it difficult to not like him. He was even polite to Tezuka, who was clearly of a lower class. Even Yumiko, polite and kind as she might be, still kept her distance from betas and omegas. For the first time, Tezuka felt that he was finally accepted into Fuji's family. But a look at Yumiko made him change his mind once more.

"Well, let's not waste time. You have to be back before dark, don't you?"

Yumiko pushed her son's back encouragingly. "That's right. I won't come with you so you won't be disturbed. Tezuka, would you accompany me in the garden as they study?"

Fuji's smile froze and he threw a worried glance toward Tezuka. The tension returned, now with no mean to relief it. Tezuka couldn't deny that he, too, felt a little scared for his life. He knew that he had no chance against a purebred werewolf such as Yumiko if she chose to harm him. Tezuka turned his attention toward his guest. He sensed no animosity in her countenance, only awkward friendliness buried beneath elegance. He doubted that she meant to finish what she started last year. Yet he had learnt how well she could hide her thoughts.

"Of course." Tezuka replied with a bow. He then followed Yumiko, feeling Fuji's eyes on him and his concern lurking at the edge of his consciousness as he walked out of the door.

At first, they didn't exchange words at all. Yumiko wandered in the garden, occasionally bending down to examine a flower or smell its sweet scent, with Tezuka behind her. She fitted the image of this island very well, Tezuka thought. She looked very beautiful in her colorful dress and surrounded by all the flowers. Perhaps it was a trait shared by her family because Fuji also looked more at ease and beautiful when he was close to nature.

"Do you know that we grew up here?" Yumiko said with her back turned toward Tezuka as she examined a shrub of pink lilac.

"Yes." Tezuka replied, not really understanding the objective of the sudden question.

Yumiko smiled as her mind seemed to wander to the time that had long gone. "We were all born here, in this very house, in fact. My parents were unwilling to leave this place for something as tedious as giving birth." She chuckled and then turned her eyes toward the lake and the distant embankment longingly. "When I was born, my grandfather was the alpha leader of this pack. My father chose to stay away from the mansion where all the political decisions were being made and brought his new bride here. Those were wonderful years, being able to play as much as we want, as hard as we want. Yes, it was a little lonely since there were only the three of us and a butler but all these…" She gestured toward the lake, the garden, and the mountain with a broad smile, the happiest smile Tezuka had ever seen on her. "These made up for what we didn't have. Do you notice how much happier Syuusuke is, here?"

"Aa." Fuji was indeed more open, more comfortable here than when he was in the mansion. In that old building, he was guarded, always concerned about others' opinion. Even when he was in private, he was always worried about the chance of his true feeling and thoughts being discovered. Tezuka had previously assumed that the complete privacy was what brought the change but maybe it was also the effect of memory of the past.

"The year Yuuta was born, my grandfather passed away due to an illness and my father replaced him. He still insisted on living here for a while, but a couple of years later we moved back to the mansion." Yumiko paused to sigh, remembering a not-so-fond memory. "It was boring and stifling there. It still is. We were longing for the freedom we used to have. We hated the rules and courtesy we suddenly had to obey. We wanted nothing more but be allowed to be children and free. But things had changed. We couldn't go back to the way it used to be. Our lives now revolved around responsibilities and expectance. There's no going back to the way it was here. I got married, and Syuusuke was being the perfect heir, and Yuuta…"

Tears rose to Yumiko's eyes as she spoke the name. Tezuka guided her to sit down under a tree and sat down next to her. He placed his hand on hers lightly, not wanting to offend her with the physical contact. He was relieved when Yumiko threw him a little smile and wipe her tears with a silk handkerchief. "Let me get you something to drink." He offered, but Yumiko shook her head.

"No, it's all right. I'm sorry. I should've been able to control myself better. It's been many years since Yuuta's death and I still can't control myself."

"It's all right."

"I should move on. Syuusuke has. But I guess I'm too guilty to do so. Do you know I named Yuu after Yuuta? He was born a couple of months after Yuuta's death. There were so many deaths that year…"

"The war."

"Yes, the war. I couldn't help them, wasn't allowed to. I was pregnant and father stubbornly refused my husband's offer to send help, saying that he could handle it and that I no longer have to be responsible for them as I have my own family. There was nothing I could do for them. I guess I still feel angry at myself, at my inability to help my family in any way. I guess… that's why I told you to leave Syuusuke. Because I want him to live up to the expectations, to fulfill his duties to his family like I did. My life has revolved around my responsibilities as well and I expected the same from him. I expected him to marry and produce an heir and completely disregarded his feelings. I was a fool. I am a fool." Yumiko then turned to Tezuka and held his hands. Her eyes shimmer with tears as she struggled to remain calm. "Life isn't just about duty. I focused too much on the suffering and took the happiness for granted. Yes, I was fulfilling my duty when I married my husband and gave birth to our children, but I also did them out of love. I've forgotten that in my moment of stupidity, focusing instead on the pain and tediousness. I could only wish I had realized it sooner before I caused you and Syuusuke so much pain." Yumiko chuckled as she remembered something. "He was miserable without you. Others might be fooled by his smiles, but not me. I was shocked, even upset, when he decided to give his position to be with you." Tezuka's heart sank when Yumiko said this, but he smile quickly placated him. "However I also sensed his relief. I know how happy he was when he finally gathered the courage to decide. It's as if he has been set free. Honestly, I've never seen Syuusuke happier. I knew then that I've made a mistake, that I've made the person I love suffer. I couldn't apologize enough to both of you for that."

"It's all right. Neither me or Syuusuke is holding a grudge against you." Tezuka said. While he admitted to fearing the woman, he didn't hate her for she had done. He doubted that Fuji could ever hate her, either. Yumiko had indeed done terrible thing toward them, but it was born out of misconception and goodwill. They couldn't blame her for that.

Yumiko smiled and stood up. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them again, Tezuka could see that she was back to the composed woman he knew of. "I have once disagreed with Syuusuke's love for you, but now I can see why. I know it's not enough after all the pain I caused you, but I offer you my deepest apology, Tezuka, and I hope one day you'll find it in your heart to accept me as a sister, as I have accepted you as my brother." After she said that, Yumiko bowed deeply toward Tezuka. When she straightened her back again, Tezuka could see what he thought he would never see again. He finally found his place in a new family.

* * *

That night, like many nights before, Tezuka found Fuji outside the house, gazing into the darkness across the body of water. It was quiet there, few tiny lights in the distance being the only evidence of life outside this little floating world of theirs. Tezuka wondered what Fuji could be thinking now. Yumiko had assured him that he was now accepted as Fuji's partner. Tezuka also fully believed in the sincerity of Fuji's love for him. But he also knew that Fuji was a responsible leader. Yumiko's retelling of their childhood reminded Tezuka that there are times when responsibility took precedence over feelings. He was aware of the possibility of Fuji wanting to return to the mansion to better perform his leadership.

"Come here." Fuji suddenly said, though Tezuka had made sure not to make any noise as he approached his partner. Fuji turned to him with a knowing smile, holding out a hand for Tezuka to hold. Tezuka couldn't overlook the tiny scars on Fuji's exposed arm, the remnants of the bloody battle. Fuji's body was no longer unblemished, although to Tezuka it wasn't any less perfect than before. The scars served as reminders of how close Fuji had come to death, how close they had come to eternal separation.

Tezuka accepted the request and sat next to Fuji on the cool grass. Fuji's hand felt warm and assuring in his grip, but Tezuka was a little nervous. Yumiko's arrival had brought up the issue they hadn't addressed yet, an important issue they forgot in their blissful togetherness. Tezuka sat stiffly, unsure how to put the thoughts in his mind into words.

"Yuu still has much to learn. But I believe under his mother's supervision, he will make a good leader. He's also been well-known among our friends, I think he will make a smooth transition into a leader when he's an adult. I plan to formally announce him as the new alpha leader once he turned seventeen." Fuji said with a smile, though there was seriousness in his eyes and voice as he spoke. "In the meantime, Oishi does a very good job at the mansion. He's still adjusting to the massive workload, but I think soon he will only ask for my approval for the most important decision-makings."

Tezuka frowned, though he was relieved that Fuji wasn't contemplating on leaving him. "Did you read my mind?"

Fuji gave him a mock-surprised look and answered. "What? Can't I understand my partner's thought process well?"

Fighting down a blush, Tezuka looked into the darkness again. He did shift a little closer to Fuji, seeking body heat and contact from his beloved. It would never be enough. He knew he would forever wonder if he was good enough for Fuji, if he had driven Fuji to make the wrong decision after all. Human could fall out of love. Could that happen to werewolves, too? Mentally bracing himself for pain, Tezuka asked the question that had plagued his mind since Fuji came. "Will you regret this?" Tezuka asked quietly. "Will you regret choosing me over your leadership?"

Fuji gave him an unreadable look, then somehow managed to pin him down. He sat on top of Tezuka, holding Tezuka's wrists to the ground in a gentle but strong grip. "Should I brainwash you to make you believe my choice?" He said, sounding a little exasperated yet amused at the same time. "I will never, ever regret choosing you, Kunimitsu. I love you. I've loved you since the first day we met. I will always love you until they day I die. Won't you believe me?"

Tezuka looked at the man on top of him, the affection shining in his eyes brighter than the stars above them. He felt stupid and a little guilty for not trusting Fuji. It would take a while before he'd fully believe that there was nothing to regret but Fuji had taught him to live for the moment, to cherish what he had in the present. Tezuka closed his eyes and smiled, love bursting in his chest. He pulled his hands away from Fuji's relenting grip and pulled Fuji down for a tender kiss.

They whispered vow of love over and over again, but it would never go old, it would never lose its meaning. Tezuka kissed Fuji's forehead and held him close. He was basking in contentment in the arms of his beloved, where there's no one to judge, where all that mattered were happiness and love, where he could confidently say that he had found what he always yearned for: a home, a sanctuary, a haven only for him and Fuji.

OWARI

A/N: And… that's it! Not sure when I'm gonna do another TeFu. I have a half written multichapter but I don't really like it (yet). It's an AU but I still have to develop the setting *was too focused on the yaoi*. Anyway, let me know what you think of this fic! ^^ I'm actually writing an ori fic based on this setting because there are so many things I want to include here but couldn't. As usual, though, I got a major case of writer's block… Please pardon the fail that is me and review! ^^ Link to the song The Garden of Everything by Steve Conte and Maaya Sakamoto can be found at my LJ.


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